So it’s the very young (Mayor Pete) and the very old (Grampa Bernie) that emerge victorious from the Iowa caucuses. Who’s third? Not Joe..it’s Loony Lizzie. So on to New Hampshire where Grampa Bernie will hold sway. It won’t be ’til South Carolina that Joltin’ Joe will finally win himself a primary. Then it’s anybody’s guess who will prevail in the spate of primaries scheduled for March 3rd. My guess is that the spread will be Bernie, Pete, Liz and then Joe, with Liz, Joe and Pete jockeying for the 2nd position. As I predicted earlier, Bernie’s gonna take this thing. Everybody loves their grampa, right? Nope. Along comes Mike – Bloomberg, that is.
Bloomin’ Onion was counting on disarray in the ranks – that’s why he skipped the first two primaries, and focused his attention and advertising money on the March 3rd states. He will quickly – or not – zoom up to the number 2 or 3 slot. From then on, it’ll be a relentless push to get the nomination. And ya know what? I’m all for it. If he’s good enough for Judge Judy, he’s good enough for little ‘ole me.
Trumpet vs Bloomin’ Onion..now that’ll be a true race where Trumpet will lose the Jewish vote (duh!) and the black vote will stay home. But Onion could win enough independents and moderate Republicans to take this thing. We’ll know if his strategy worked by the end of April. Otherwise, we’ll have poor Bernie, likely dying of a heart attack in office, and his VP, Mayor Pete, will have to assume the mantle. Wow, that’s a long shot, eh?
We’ll see how this turns out. But one thing I’m sure of: since it isn’t the most hated woman in the country running for the highest office in the land, it’ll be a horse race that will end up well. You heard it here first. Yippee Ay O Kay Yay!