{"id":7304,"date":"2016-05-08T09:50:59","date_gmt":"2016-05-08T13:50:59","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.planetsusan.org\/?p=7304"},"modified":"2016-06-28T08:08:17","modified_gmt":"2016-06-28T12:08:17","slug":"chaos-and-noise","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.planetsusan.org\/?p=7304","title":{"rendered":"Six Alternate Timelines"},"content":{"rendered":"

I’ve been semi-binge-watching the show \"community-movie\"<\/a>Community<\/strong> thanks to Hulu. One of the episodes in the third season featured six different timelines imagined by \"Abed\"<\/a>Abed, one of the more colorful characters. What’s that, you say? It depicts six different versions of what happened when six different members of the Community College study group are each sent to answer the door and retrieve pizzas from a delivery guy.<\/p>\n

I liked the episode and thought I’d apply the concept to the presidential election. So here’s six different timelines for the outcome.<\/p>\n

Timeline 1: Donald Trump wins, but dies before the inauguration, having been trampled in a \"gay<\/a>gay pride parade.<\/p>\n

Timeline 2: Donald Trump loses, but moves into the White House by declaring \"squatters<\/a>squatter’s rights, an idea he got from a Disney movie. <\/p>\n

Timeline 3: Donald Trump wins, and the first act of the 2017 Congress is Articles of Impeachment of Donald Trump after he sells the \"American-White-House-in-Houses-Coloring-Page\"<\/a>White House to China. Trump got the idea watching a History Channel show about Warren G. Harding, who gambled away the White House China.<\/p>\n

Timeline 4: Donald Trump loses the election, but wins the states of Arkansas, Tennessee, Mississippi, Alabama and Texas in the electoral college. The rest of the United States expels those five states from the union. They reform and are henceforth known as the \"the<\/a>Trump Republic, with Donald as their President for Life. President Hillary builds a wall around the Trump Republic to keep out the riff raff.<\/p>\n

Timeline 5: Donald Trump loses, but insists that he won in some \"parallel<\/a>parallel universe, and therefore should be co-president.<\/p>\n

Timeline 6: Donald Trump loses, but then declares himself the winner when he is able to produce a birth certificate showing Hillary Clinton was really born in Antarctica and is, in fact, really a \"penguin<\/a>penguin. Or maybe THE Penguin. Hey, you know she does walk kinda funny.<\/p>\n

So there you have it – six different options – pick the one you like best. My personal favorite is Timeline 4. Good riddance to those idgits.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I’ve been semi-binge-watching the show Community thanks to Hulu. One of the episodes in the third season featured six different timelines imagined by Abed, one of the more colorful characters. What’s that, you say? It depicts six different versions of … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-7304","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.planetsusan.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7304","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.planetsusan.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.planetsusan.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.planetsusan.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.planetsusan.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=7304"}],"version-history":[{"count":7,"href":"https:\/\/www.planetsusan.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7304\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":8224,"href":"https:\/\/www.planetsusan.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7304\/revisions\/8224"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.planetsusan.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=7304"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.planetsusan.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=7304"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.planetsusan.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=7304"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}