Does this sound familiar? If you were a sentient being in 1962, it should sound familiar:

Friend, either you’re closing your eyes
To a situation you do not wish to acknowledge
Or you are unaware of the caliber of disaster
Indicated by the presence of a _____ in your community.

I left the key word blank. Know what it is? Here are your options:

1) Muslim immigrant
2) Tea Party Congressman
3) Planned Parenthood clinic
4) Member of Cliven Bundy’s family
5) None of the Above

Give up? If you tune in to Fox News, might that provide the answer? Nah. CNN? Uh, nope.

How about Turner Classic Movies? You’re getting there. OK – it’s a movie? Is it:

a) Dr. Strangelove?
b) Invasion of the Body Snatchers?
c) The Manchurian Candidate?
d) The Terminator?
e) None of the Above

Right you are – it’s the last one. And what is this terrible thing that will lead to gloom and doom?

Here it is folks: brace yourself:

Terrifying, right?

Here’s my point. Many of the candidates running for president in this year’s elections are using the same tactics that Professor Harold Hill employed in the 1962 film The Music Man. His goal was to frighten parents in River City Iowa into giving him money for instruments and uniforms for a boy’s band – to keep the young ones “moral after school” and out of the pool hall. Most of the Republican candidates are trying to frighten Americans into thinking that the pool table is Isis and they are coming to kill us all.

Your chances of dying at the hands of a terrorist? About one in twenty million. The likelihood that you’ll die when riding a bicycle? One in 141,000. So do the math: bicycles are 140 times more dangerous than Isis. So let’s recap:

Friend, either you’re closing your eyes
To a situation you do not wish to acknowledge
Or you are not aware of the caliber of disaster indicated
By the presence of a bicycle in your community.

I’ll warn Erik.