My working career began yesterday, with my assigned shift from 2 – 8 PM. The first nearly five hours were just sitting in front of a computer screen, watching attractive allegedly HD employees. They were filling me in on the do’s and don’ts of the job. I heard at least half a dozen times that certain behaviors would lead to ‘disciplinary action, up to and including termination.’ What kinds of infractions? Sexual harassment and chasing shoplifters into the parking lot. It’s highly unlikely I would commit either of these faux pas’, so I guess I am in the clear there.

Now, as to the last hour – it about killed me. Note to self #1: need better shoes. An hour of standing in the paint department with my old Skechers sneakers led to shortness of breath and a near fainting spell. The anti-Covid mask didn’t help. Also, note to self #2: eat lunch before you go to work and take water to stash in the break room. I got low blood sugar and was dehydrated: two very bad things to have at our age, eh? Had to sit down and put my head between my knees.

The paint department is pretty busy, even at night. The evening shift guys whom I’ll call I and J are very nice, helpful and competent. Young. Haven’t met the head of the department yet, but I’m led to believe it’s an older woman, which by their definition probably means she’s 40. Sigh.

So my goal for this week is to maintain my verticality and not pass out, causing some kind of lost time injury that would probably lead to my ‘disciplinary action, up to and including termination.’ Gotta pace myself. Two years of no gym ’cause of Covid means I’m not exactly aerobically fit. But they seem to be understanding of this reality, so maybe I’ll actually survive in the job til week 2. We can only hope.