Now you gotta admit that is an eclectic collection of names, but all of them figure into today’s essay about the current state of affairs in the center of the crazy universe, Washington, D.C. Let’s begin.

The Pope came to town a week ago. He delivered a marvelous speech to Congress. John Boehner cried. The next day he said he’s resigning, effective the end of October – i.e., a 4 week notice to let his caucus replace him with somebody. The heir apparent is a nice guy named Kevin McCarthy – all the Republicans like him. And that’s the problem. He’s not radical enough if all of them like him. So who do the radicals want to replace Boehner? A little, skinny guy named Trey Gowdy from the great state of South Carolina. Great state? Home of the original secession; recent site of a mass, race-based hate crime? The state that subsequently – and somewhat begrudgingly – removed the Confederate flag from the statehouse grounds. That move required a significant majority of the state house to agree – what? Yep. Oh – and I almost forgot – home of that inspired Congressman who shouted, “You lie!” during Barack Obama’s first State of the Union address six years ago. That guy, Joe Wilson, still holds his seat. Anybody think the Civil War settled everything? Uh, yeah..no.

So the Pope comes to town, Boehner cries and then resigns, the Republicans are scrambling to figure out how to replace him and Donald The Trumpeter (DtheT for short) continues to be … well, himself. He applauds Russia’s involvement in the Syrian conflict, saying maybe this Assad guy isn’t so bad. He thinks Vlad the Impaler is a good leader, much better than our own president. And finally, if we let 10,000 Syrians into the country, after he’s elected, DtheT will send them all home. Doesn’t that make you feel all warm & fuzzy towards him?

With all that said, DtheT must be dropping in the polls, right? Ah, no – he’s ahead of Ben Carson, the next best candidate – per the average Republican primary voter – by a factor of 2. Have they lost their minds? The short answer is yes. But I think that’s where this begins to get interesting and worth discussing.

As my regular readers are aware, I refer to members of the Tea Party caucus as Tealiban. Let us recap why I call them that. The Tea Party’s credo, per their website, is as follows:

“Our mission is to bring awareness to any issue
which challenges the security, sovereignty or
domestic tranquility of our beloved nation,
The United States of America.”

Then from the GOP platform:

We support the public display of the Ten Commandments as a reflection of our history and of our country’s Judeo-Christian heritage, and we affirm the right of students to engage in prayer at public school events in public schools and to have equal access to public schools and other public facilities to accommodate religious freedom in the public square.

The Taliban’s credo?

“The Taliban seek to establish the laws of God on earth and prepare(d) to sacrifice everything in pursuit of that goal.”
Mullah Omar, from Things Fall Apart by Byman and Pollock

I don’t see much difference between these two, do you?

The operative word here is tribalism. Be true to your school…roll Tide…we are the champions…you get the idea. Everybody wants to be a part of something – matter to somebody. And in this particular case, the Tealiban, Taliban, ISIS – all of them have that in common. And all are fueled by anger at the status quo, and a desire to change things for what they perceive to be better – regardless of the effect on the larger population. The Tea Party caucus does not care if they shut down the government, with all its accompanying problems and issues, including veterans’ benefits being held up and national parks being closed to visitors. They don’t care because it doesn’t affect their tribe. But for the life of me, I don’t see how shutting down the government advances their stated goal of ensuring the “…security, sovereignty or domestic tranquility” of their alleged, beloved nation. I don’t get it, because I’m not part of their tribe.

The great Edward O. Wilson – biologist, conservationist and author – has some perspective on all this. And when did EO begin to delve into politics? Well, not exactly – not directly anyway. When Ed studied ants and formulated theories about how they work and live, he began to see patterns that he then extrapolated to humans, a most controversial move in its time. So essentially, that makes D.C. a giant anthill? If that were so, the members of the Tea Party caucus would find ways to cooperate, working together for the benefit of the colony. But they and the Taliban want to kick over the anthill and start a new one with their values, principles and objectives. And what are those? Why, whatever they say they are. And why don’t they cooperate? Because they’re angry. Angry at whom? For what? Hard to say, but tribalism doesn’t require logic – or truth.

Back to Boehner and DtheT. How will the Republicans replace the ant queen, er, Boehner? With a fight. Who will win? Your guess is as good as mine. And DtheT? My recommendation is that we just go ahead and elect him president. It gets back to that old saying, “Be careful what you wish for, because you might get it.” President Trump would be a disaster you say? But we’ve had disasters before. Warren G. Harding comes to mind – a man who allegedly gambled away the White House china and fathered an illegitimate child while in office (really – he did – check it out). Another name that comes to mind is Franklin Pierce. Pierce holds the dubious distinction of having sent U.S. Marines to Boston to retrieve a runaway slave and return him to Virginia. Who is Franklin Pierce? None other than the devil’s mother herself, Barbara Pierce Bush’s fourth cousin four times removed. But I digress. My point is, if we survived Warren G. Harding and Franklin Pierce, we would survive Donald Trump. He’ll make a terrible president, but maybe it’s time to give the crazies their man. And that brings me to the last name on the list: Keith Richards. In a recent documentary about Keith, he talked about taking a 7 year break from the ‘Stones and forming his own band. It was only when he did so that he understand the challenges inherent in being the ‘front man’, and had a new appreciation for Mick. He’s gone running back to his old band, and they’ll be on tour again soon. So maybe if the Tealiban have Trey Gowdy running the show as Speaker of the House and Donald Trump in the White House, they’ll figure out the challenges involved in true leadership. Or not – but hey, isn’t it worth a try? What could go wrong?