No Joe

Oh

Woe

So…

I don’t know.

Can DtheT take it all the way?

No

Will Hill survive the Hill’s Grill?

She will

Can I use alliteration to its fullest extent?

You betcha

AND

Will Jeb and DtheT ask for equal time on the Bengazi Committee?

After all, today’s ‘hearing’ is free airtime for the putative Democratic candidate for President of the United States, allowing her to look good before her Republican ‘accusers’. When will they figure out it’s not nice to fool with a lady Clinton?

Now you gotta admit that is an eclectic collection of names, but all of them figure into today’s essay about the current state of affairs in the center of the crazy universe, Washington, D.C. Let’s begin.

The Pope came to town a week ago. He delivered a marvelous speech to Congress. John Boehner cried. The next day he said he’s resigning, effective the end of October – i.e., a 4 week notice to let his caucus replace him with somebody. The heir apparent is a nice guy named Kevin McCarthy – all the Republicans like him. And that’s the problem. He’s not radical enough if all of them like him. So who do the radicals want to replace Boehner? A little, skinny guy named Trey Gowdy from the great state of South Carolina. Great state? Home of the original secession; recent site of a mass, race-based hate crime? The state that subsequently – and somewhat begrudgingly – removed the Confederate flag from the statehouse grounds. That move required a significant majority of the state house to agree – what? Yep. Oh – and I almost forgot – home of that inspired Congressman who shouted, “You lie!” during Barack Obama’s first State of the Union address six years ago. That guy, Joe Wilson, still holds his seat. Anybody think the Civil War settled everything? Uh, yeah..no.

So the Pope comes to town, Boehner cries and then resigns, the Republicans are scrambling to figure out how to replace him and Donald The Trumpeter (DtheT for short) continues to be … well, himself. He applauds Russia’s involvement in the Syrian conflict, saying maybe this Assad guy isn’t so bad. He thinks Vlad the Impaler is a good leader, much better than our own president. And finally, if we let 10,000 Syrians into the country, after he’s elected, DtheT will send them all home. Doesn’t that make you feel all warm & fuzzy towards him?

With all that said, DtheT must be dropping in the polls, right? Ah, no – he’s ahead of Ben Carson, the next best candidate – per the average Republican primary voter – by a factor of 2. Have they lost their minds? The short answer is yes. But I think that’s where this begins to get interesting and worth discussing.

As my regular readers are aware, I refer to members of the Tea Party caucus as Tealiban. Let us recap why I call them that. The Tea Party’s credo, per their website, is as follows:

“Our mission is to bring awareness to any issue
which challenges the security, sovereignty or
domestic tranquility of our beloved nation,
The United States of America.”

Then from the GOP platform:

We support the public display of the Ten Commandments as a reflection of our history and of our country’s Judeo-Christian heritage, and we affirm the right of students to engage in prayer at public school events in public schools and to have equal access to public schools and other public facilities to accommodate religious freedom in the public square.

The Taliban’s credo?

“The Taliban seek to establish the laws of God on earth and prepare(d) to sacrifice everything in pursuit of that goal.”
Mullah Omar, from Things Fall Apart by Byman and Pollock

I don’t see much difference between these two, do you?

The operative word here is tribalism. Be true to your school…roll Tide…we are the champions…you get the idea. Everybody wants to be a part of something – matter to somebody. And in this particular case, the Tealiban, Taliban, ISIS – all of them have that in common. And all are fueled by anger at the status quo, and a desire to change things for what they perceive to be better – regardless of the effect on the larger population. The Tea Party caucus does not care if they shut down the government, with all its accompanying problems and issues, including veterans’ benefits being held up and national parks being closed to visitors. They don’t care because it doesn’t affect their tribe. But for the life of me, I don’t see how shutting down the government advances their stated goal of ensuring the “…security, sovereignty or domestic tranquility” of their alleged, beloved nation. I don’t get it, because I’m not part of their tribe.

The great Edward O. Wilson – biologist, conservationist and author – has some perspective on all this. And when did EO begin to delve into politics? Well, not exactly – not directly anyway. When Ed studied ants and formulated theories about how they work and live, he began to see patterns that he then extrapolated to humans, a most controversial move in its time. So essentially, that makes D.C. a giant anthill? If that were so, the members of the Tea Party caucus would find ways to cooperate, working together for the benefit of the colony. But they and the Taliban want to kick over the anthill and start a new one with their values, principles and objectives. And what are those? Why, whatever they say they are. And why don’t they cooperate? Because they’re angry. Angry at whom? For what? Hard to say, but tribalism doesn’t require logic – or truth.

Back to Boehner and DtheT. How will the Republicans replace the ant queen, er, Boehner? With a fight. Who will win? Your guess is as good as mine. And DtheT? My recommendation is that we just go ahead and elect him president. It gets back to that old saying, “Be careful what you wish for, because you might get it.” President Trump would be a disaster you say? But we’ve had disasters before. Warren G. Harding comes to mind – a man who allegedly gambled away the White House china and fathered an illegitimate child while in office (really – he did – check it out). Another name that comes to mind is Franklin Pierce. Pierce holds the dubious distinction of having sent U.S. Marines to Boston to retrieve a runaway slave and return him to Virginia. Who is Franklin Pierce? None other than the devil’s mother herself, Barbara Pierce Bush’s fourth cousin four times removed. But I digress. My point is, if we survived Warren G. Harding and Franklin Pierce, we would survive Donald Trump. He’ll make a terrible president, but maybe it’s time to give the crazies their man. And that brings me to the last name on the list: Keith Richards. In a recent documentary about Keith, he talked about taking a 7 year break from the ‘Stones and forming his own band. It was only when he did so that he understand the challenges inherent in being the ‘front man’, and had a new appreciation for Mick. He’s gone running back to his old band, and they’ll be on tour again soon. So maybe if the Tealiban have Trey Gowdy running the show as Speaker of the House and Donald Trump in the White House, they’ll figure out the challenges involved in true leadership. Or not – but hey, isn’t it worth a try? What could go wrong?

I’ve been waiting to hear someone cogent talk about the Iran deal and what it really means – for all sides. But, alas, that has not been forthcoming, so I must ‘splain it to you, gentle readers. What’s it all about, Alfie? Why, just as with everything else in history, it’s about the money…the moola…kale…cash…you get the idea.

What? Not politics? Not nuclear arms race? Not: “we’re all doomed to die because the Iranians might get a bomb 15 years from now?” Oh, puhlease…No. It is about the Iranians making lemonade out of lemons. They are not stupid, Hassan Rohani and Ayatollah Khamanei. They haven’t survived in a very difficult arena for this long without being clever. And Rouhani was just what the doctor ordered, when Doctor Khamanei needed him.

Let’s go through this a step at a time. In order to understand it, you have to go back a few years, to the Ahmadinijad era. That’s the fellow who, for all the world, resembles a macaque monkey (see illustrations – see what I mean?) The Ayatollah made a deal with the revolutionary guard – the Quds force – you know, the group Donald the Trumpeter got confused with the Kurds? Maybe he thinks of Kurds with whey and Little Miss Muffet – ooh, but now I’ve seriously digressed. Back to the story, picked up with Monkey Man’s regime.

Way back when, Khamanei made a deal with the Quds force: I’ll give you your chosen guy as president – Monkey Man – in exchange for your support and protection through the difficult years of sanctions being imposed on Iran. Your man will give you all government contracts, and share oil revenue with you. I will get your undying amity. Sweet deal for all of them.

Now for a bit of history. Sanctions began in 1979 but really ratcheted up in the latter part of the first decade of the 21st century. The UN sanctions were imposed beginning in 2006, and Europe joined with the US in putting more of a squeeze on Iran up through 2012. The result was a free fall in the Iranian rial. At the end of 2011, the rial to US dollar rate was officially 11,100. After monkey man was elected to his second term – under a cloud of suspicion of electoral fraud – there were riots in the street. This instability – combined with monkey man’s tinkering with an economy he knew nothing about – the rial began to lose significant value. By the end of 2013, the street exchange rate was 30,000. It’s still hovering in that range. But here’s the thing – Iran was selling oil and getting dollars for it. So when monkey man would make outrageous statements – like denying the Holocaust or saying he was going to blow Israel off the map – he’d get more rials for his dollars. And who profited from all this? Why, his patrons, the Revolutionary Guards. Who suffered from this? Iranian citizens holding rials that were significantly decreasing in value on a daily basis. It was a sweet deal for a long time, but all good things must eventually end. By 2013, Inflation was out of hand in Iran, people were suffering, and folks on the street were seriously complaining about corruption, i.e. inflation making their spending value poorer as it made the Revolutionary Guards richer. A recipe for disaster, sooner or later. So the Ayatollah had to act.

In 2013 there was another election, and Monkey Man couldn’t run, being limited to two terms. He threw his support to a guy named Esfandiar Rahim Mashaei for president, but the Ayatollah had other ideas. Mashaei didn’t make it to the ballot, as Khamanei had another candidate in mind – Hassan Rouhani. And Rouhani won. What a surprise. Who is Hassan Rouhani? The guy who started nuclear negotiations with the EU and the US back in ’05. He registered for the election one month before it was held. And he won with 51% of the vote, compared to the next vote getter with about 18%. Some campaigning, eh? Yeah…So then what happened? All of a sudden, Iran is interested in negotiating away their nuclear program, which had been supported big time by Monkey Man’s regime. Why? Because the Revolutionary Guard had made their money, and were firmly established in owning most of the businesses in Iran. The sanctions were starting to worry them, and they saw no value whatsoever in going nuclear anymore. So Rouhani was the perfect guy to “negotiate” away what they didn’t want anyway. They all must have read the Uncle Remus stories and learned from Brer Rabbit about the briar patch. Smart fellows…and we fell for it hook, line and centrifuge. Now Iran will get their money back that’s been held in foreign banks since ’79. Sanctions will be lifted and life will be good for everybody. And what did they give up? Nothing of any real value.

In summary, I’d say it’s game, set and match for Iran in this deal. They will be free to grow their power and influence throughout the Middle East, with plenty of money to back things up. They will have a happy population that will let them stay in power for the foreseeable future. And what else have they got, gentle readers? Yes, you guessed it. I’d argue they likely already have a bomb..probably at the Parchin facility that nobody’s allowed to inspect.

But, you say, “What good is it if they can’t talk about it? And they certainly can’t without the risk of losing all credibility and seeing sanctions reimposed.”

All true. But the Ayatollah sleeps better at night, knowing if the US threatens any military action against Iran, he has that insurance in a silo a few kilometers outside Tehran. And who would they threaten with it? Why, not the U.S. – way too far away. They’d threaten Israel. And who opposes this nuclear deal? Why, Israel, of course. Why does Israel oppose it? Because they likely know or strongly suspect that Iran has a nuclear weapon. That’s why they haven’t hit them militarily like they did Assad’s al-Kibar facility in Syria back in ’07. So why doesn’t Israel just tell the world that Iran has a bomb? Knowing it and proving it are two different things. It wouldn’t be that hard for Iran to hide it. And I don’t think they have a lot of nuclear weapons – maybe just one or two. But here’s the main point: neither Israel nor Iran would survive a nuclear confrontation between themselves. They both know that. This is a really cold war between the two countries. They use us and Russia as proxies to fight their battles, pretending to threaten each other until we play “good cop/bad cop” and talk then down. But in the end, Israel doesn’t trust the U.S. to defend them if things get interesting and ugly. And they are probably right not to trust us. The folks in charge here at home like to give Israel lip service, but when things get tough, they will fold like a house of cards.

In 1862, Henry Adams said, “Some day science may have the existence of mankind in power, and the human race can commit suicide by blowing up the world.” How right he was. I tried to capture all this in my 3 Act play, “Fearful of the Sixth Extinction.” Check it out under the Writing Tab. And in the coming years, it’s just possible that I’ll be the one to be quoted someday. It could happen – really!

There are now 441 days until election day. Thought I’d jump in with some prognostications, just for fun.

QUESTION: WILL JOE BIDEN RUN FOR THE DEMOCRATIC NOMINATION?

Answer: Yes, he will. With Elizabeth Warren by his side as his putative running mate, Joe will jump into the race and take the nomination away from Hillary. He’ll say it’s for the good of the party, so he’s doing the right thing for Dems, not for personal gain. Save the brand. Save Obama’s legacy. All that stuff. Yeah.

QUESTION: Will JOE WIN THE PRESIDENCY?

Answer: Uh, nope. But it will make for a more interesting horse race against Jeb, Joe being the colorful character he is. His candidacy will save Hillary from an ignoble defeat. She will never run for public office again. Poor thing. The sad irony is that if somehow hubby Brer Bill could run again, he’d win hands down. Everybody loves him – hates her. Women in particular. Can I explain it? Yes. It’s how women are. They forgive bad boys. They disdain the women that love them, even tho’ all women love bad boys. We can see the flaw in other women, just not in ourselves. Go figure…but that’s why she cannot win and likely won’t even have to endure the defeat, thanks to Crazy Joe (Biden, not Gallo).

QUESTION: WHAT’S HAPPENING WITH THE STOCK MARKET?

ANSWER: Uh, it’s called a correction, and it’s long overdue. China’s stock market was artificially stimulated by the Chinese government, and lacks transparency and credibility. In fact, Chinese businesses shouldn’t be allowed to be publicly traded, because they lie big time about their results – and there’s nobody to police them or check the numbers. It’s all a facade…but there may be some buying opportunities…nah – the market is way too overbought. Would need a huge correction for there to be anything worth buying. Too bad.

QUESTION: What’s the Young ‘Un going to do about the loud speakers dissin’ him from the other side of the DMZ?

ANSWER: Ooh, good question! I’m glad you asked me that. The Young ‘Un is either crazy or a genius – so sayeth Donald the Trumpeter? Nah to both. He is a sheltered young sociopath with innate cunning and survival skills. If he goes too far, it will be because of a misunderstanding or mistake on the part of his close associates – afraid of not being perceived as not tough enough. These skirmishes will continue ad nauseum until one of these times one side or another goes too far, and then we’ll have a nuclear threat. That should be interesting, but not likely anytime soon.

QUESTION: Will Congress approve the nuclear deal with Iran?

The answer is no – then nolo contendre. There will not be enough votes to approve it. The Republicans can’t vote for it, and there are enough Dems interested in keeping their Jewish constituents happy that it’s safer to oppose it. This is particularly true, as everybody knows Obama will veto anything that opposes the deal, and Congress can’t override the veto. That was an easy one. Come on…give me something hard!

QUESTION: What is the biggest concern about the Iran nuclear deal?

ANSWER: Something unexpected, to be sure. Everybody’s worried about Iran cheating or getting the bomb in fifteen years – pish posh. That’s stupid. There’s no incentive to cheat, as they’re just looking for sanction relief as a primary goal. At least for a good while, they won’t cheat because of the west’s itchy trigger finger for reimposing sanctions. Nope – the folk’ you gotta worry about are from ISRAEL. Yes, our allies and not such good friends from the little country on the Mediterranean with paranoid tendencies. As with the Korean deal, a series of misjudgments and delusions will inevitably lead to some kind of confrontation. And it’s likely we’ll see the introduction of the neutron bomb in our lifetime. The what, you say? The neutron bomb. The neocons wanted to play with it back in the 90’s – crazy bastards do crazy things, eh? But it destroys people without destroying real estate. What a neat thing, eh? So next time we’ll do a post about the neutron bomb. Stay tuned for that.

QUESTION: So what are you writing these days?

I’ve developed a scenario for the latest story called The Algorithmic Brain, subtitle: You Don’t Know Jack. It involves Jack the Ripper, cyborgs, Orlando, autism, the law, morals and the CIA. Sound interesting? You betcha!

Well, gentle readers, I’m back, talkin’ about next year’s Presidential election, which is 445 days away. A lot can happen in 445 days, but I’m still clear about a couple of things.

HILLARY CLINTON CANNOT WIN AND SHOULD NOT RUN

I have previously stated that Hillary cannot win the Presidency in 2016, and that Joe Biden should be the Democrat to lose the White House. It’s fitting and proper, and makes sense. Why suffer? In the latest Quinnipiac polls in Florida, Ohio and Pennsylvania – three key states in the presidential election – Joe Biden does well – particularly since he isn’t even a declared candidate in the race. Biden does very well in matchups against the Republican knucklehead du jour, Hairball Trump. But against Jeb in those three states, neither Joe nor Hillary beats Jeb. So unless Donald Trump runs as a third party candidate – which the Republican Party will pay him not to do – Jeb wins, as predicted.

TRUMP TOWERS TODAY BUT TANKS TOMORROW

It’s just a question of time before he’s a distant memory. I’ll give him another 60 days, maybe even 90, but then voters will begin to be a bit more serious. The interesting question will be: how much will it cost the Republican party to be rid of El Donaldo the Trumpeter? Gotta cost at least a cool mill – maybe two. It’ll be fun watching how they try to hide it. His ‘candidacy’ has been performance art all along, and he’ll expect to be paid for the performance. Eh?

THE MOST IMPORTANT FACTOR IN THE RACE WON’T BE WHAT YOU EXPECT

Yesterday’s issues: Obamacare, Bengazi and the IRS – won’t resurface since people have such short attention spans. Today’s issues: opening trade with Cuba, the nuclear deal with Iran and immigration – won’t be the key issues that will sway voters as we get closer to election time. What will be the key issue in the election? That varies according to the candidate. If it’s Hillary vs Jeb, for Hill there will be a plethora of issues regarding integrity, the Clinton Foundation and whether or not she’s a good grandmother. For Jeb it will be getting past his brother’s missteps and having to pledge not to repeat them. That shouldn’t be hard for Jeb. The devil will promise anything to get his way. And if I get my wish and it’s Joe Biden? Who cares? He’ll just be fun to watch.

You heard it here first.

At last the opinions have been published for the two key cases this Supreme Court Session. You know which two I’m talking about: Obamacare, otherwise known as King v Burwell, and nation-wide gay marriage, otherwise known as Obergefell v Hodges. As previously predicted with the former, the Supremes found for the government. And in a narrow victory with a tepid dissent from Roberts, the courts have now mandated same-sex marriage in all fifty states. To my thinking, that’s akin to Brown v Board of Education in what conservatives call judicial activism. Reasonable people call it doing the right thing. Guess it all depends on your perspective.

Justice Roberts wrote the opinion in King, which I expected would be written by Kennedy. Kennedy did write in Obergefell, and Roberts dissented, but purely on the basis of states rights, and with lots of conciliatory comments about the plaintiff’s case. The feds weighed in on the side of the plaintiffs in Obergefell, not surprising but not necessarily helpful. All I can say is: it’s about bloody damn time.

I started looking at cases involving gay rights back in the 90’s, and was surprised and amazed to find that homosexuals had no civil rights whatsoever. The rampant discrimination and physical abuse suffered by gays all these years is a national travesty not unlike slavery. I watched the movie Pride the other night, a British picture about gays in London supporting Welsh miners in their struggles against the conservative Thatcher epoch. It was an uplifting and heartfelt piece, well acted by the usual suspects (Bill Nighy, Imelda Staunton, Dominic West) as well as a few new faces. But my point in mentioning it is that even a dorky country like Britain dealt with the issue of gay rights 25 years ago. The U.S., having been ruled for by Republicans and politicized Democratic Presidents, has neglected to address the issue in that time frame. So I say again: it’s about bloody damn time. Better late than never? Nay, I say nay. Too much water over the dam to be so forgiving. I’d like to believe this is a beginning of a new era in freedom and life choice, but gentle reader, you and I both know better. Recent multiple events in South Carolina and the fact that Lousiana is still holding off on issuing marriage licenses to same sex couples says otherwise. It will continue to be a long, painful struggle to change hearts and minds. Look how long it took the south to integrate schools. Another shameful episode in our history, replete with shameful episodes. Makes you wonder how we can be called Land of the Free or – even worse – Home of the Brave. We are neither brave nor free. Many of us – in particular southern, disenfranchised, young white men, are caught up in fear and loathing, subsequently acting out with the most hateful and virulent violence imaginable. I’m not sanguine about our country’s prospects.

Now as to the opinion in King v Burwell, as I’ve written in previous posts. I expected the government to win. The only minor surprise was that Roberts wrote the opinion, and that it was a 6 to 3 majority instead of the usual 5/4. Maybe this will discourage other knuckleheads from continuing their fruitless effort to derail what will now become established law. The Roberts decision was quite ordinary in pursuing the line of thinking that is about giving the legislative branch every benefit of the doubt. He looked to the ‘whole cloth’ of the opinion to find that Congress would never have intended to deprive policyholders that qualified for subsidies in states that had federal versus state exchanges. As I mentioned previously, I doubt the Feds would have had to set up exchanges if those red state governors and legislatures hadn’t refused to do so. But it’s over, and the person who benefits the most from this decision? You know – the Jebber. He’s breathing a giant sigh of relief, notwithstanding his comment that:

“This fatally-flawed law imposes job-killing mandates, causes spending in Washington to skyrocket by $1.7 trillion, raises taxes by $1 trillion and drives up healthcare costs,” Bush said. “Instead of fixing our healthcare system, it made the problems worse.”

There’s no telling where he got that factoid, since I couldn’t find anything like it on the ‘net. But I did find another factoid: from 2001 to 2007 – the George W. Bush years – over $4 trillion was added to the federal deficit, primarily from tax cuts for wealthy individuals and the two wars in Iraq and Afghanistan. By those measures, Obama just isn’t trying hard enough to spend. But the Jebber will fix it all. Right?

So last Sunday, Hillary Clinton announced that she is running for the presidency. Nobody was surprised by that announcement. But frankly, I was. I thought she was smarter than that. Let me ‘splain.

This election is analogous to the Humphrey/Nixon race in ’68. Humphrey was Lyndon Johnson’s Vice President, and thus was saddled with dissatisfaction with the Viet Nam war. Nixon was – well, Nixon. So the analogy goes like this. As his Secretary of State, Hillary is tied to Obama, without his connections with minorities and young voters. Jeb Bush – who will be the Republican nominee – is the latest in the string of Bush men that like to run the country. But this Bush – like Nixon – has serious, serious control issues.

In ’68, Nixon barely won the popular vote, because of third party candidate George Wallace taking five states in the south. But Nixon won the electoral college handily, so that even had Humphrey taken the five Wallace states, it wouldn’t have been enough to overcome Nixon’s 301 electoral votes (remember, all you need is 270 to win). This time around, the situation will be similar. The key states this time will be Florida, Ohio, Colorado, North Carolina and Virginia. Before those five states are counted, Jeb will have 227 to Hillary’s 216. So let’s add the states in one by one and see what happens.

After Florida – Jeb’s home state, the tally is Jeb 256 and Hillary is still at 216. Add only North Carolina to go for Jeb, and he’s at 271. Enough to win. Hillary can take Virginia, Colorado and Ohio, and still come up short with a total of 256. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that it’s gonna be the Republicans this time around. It’s their time.

So why is Hillary still running? Because she’s a glutton for punishment? Because she is surrounded by people that tell her what she wants to hear, and tell her she can win this? Because she’s got the capacity to rationalize bad things happening and still soldier on? Yep, yep and … yep.

I really kind of feel sorry for her. She is about to be subjected to the most scurrilous, hateful and malicious campaign – much worse than what her husband endured, because George Sr. is a kinder, gentler Bush than old Jebbie. The boy Bush will throw everything at her to win. Which is kind of a shame – he could be a decent, upright guy and still win. But it’s his nature – just like his mama. Wait and watch. You’ll see. And you’ll say – hey, You were right. And I’ll say: duh.

Sunday night at 11, a most surprising program aired. John Oliver scored what can only be described as a coup of significant proportion by doing an interview with Edward Snowden. And it wasn’t the usual interview, where Little Eddie is either being bashed or adored. LE was bashed, humored, chastened, laughed at, laughed with, and embarrassed. Notice adored isn’t on that list. Nonetheless, I came away with a couple of observations I’d like to share.

First, and foremost: John Oliver has now taken Jon Stewart’s place as the one person that can have real impact on the current culture. He’s shown it before: remember “I am not a dingo”? If you missed it, go to HBO-GO and seek it out. Big impact on the FCC, of all institutions…but back to the point.

John’s weekly series on HBO called Last Week Tonight takes on issues that others either ignore or just gloss over with no real substance in the effort. John Oliver – who is a Brit, by the way – takes on American issues with the media, with government, and just plain sacred cows – and lambasts, skewers and drubs them. He is almost always a person I find myself agreeing with, and sometimes throwing kisses at through the TV screen when he’s really said or done something notable. But interviewing Little Eddie Snowden? Who’d a thunk it?

But here’s the main point I’d like to make: John Oliver has hit on a reality that had, frankly, eluded me. The best way to fight the NSA and their terrifying excess – is to make them look outrageously sad, pathetic and ridiculous – all at the same time. And how did John Oliver manage that? With “men & women on the street” interview snippets, and subsequent techno-geek explanations from LE. About what? About sending pictures of one’s privates through electronic means. Yes, beloved, the NSA is seeing your junk, if you’re electronically sharing them with others. Guess that’s maybe how the story about Weiner – the Congressman from NY with the most unfortunate name – got started. But my other observation is that yes, I was right a few centuries ago when I labeled LE a CNA – computer nerd archetype. But the boy has grown – and has the capacity to handle even tricky guys like Oliver with aplomb and good grace. Kudos to LE. I hope he gets to come home soon – and for a less-than-a-lifetime stay in a country club prison. Come on – they gotta give him some kind of punishment, right? Oh, wait – Petraeus got a slap on the wrist for doing the same thing, just on a much smaller scale. Oops – well, we’ll just have to wait and see how that turns out.

So from now on, boys and girls: no pix of junk or pubes. The NSA is watching, and if that upsets you, well at least that’s a good start. And that was Oliver’s point. And it may make a difference with you young folk out there who generally don’t give a flip about the government’s spying. And your caring about it might mobilize you to do something about NSA’s Constitution-violating spying. Remember – Erik’s and my generation’s protests stopped a war. Let’s see what you can do, kids.

I’ve got three questions. First: where is the line between real information and gossip on television news programs? Second: who is the audience that the networks appear to cater to? Third: how do we‘drag the line’ back to real stories and away from gossip?

Those are the questions I ask myself just about every time I’m forced to watch any level of network television news programming. My husband loves mid-day and afternoon, locally-produced broadcasts and the ABC Nightly News with David Muir. All of it, as he well knows, is garbage in my humble opinion. For every ounce of real information – presented in bit-sized pieces that really don’t tell you much of anything – you get six ounces of petty gossip, feel-good stories about small children or animals, and detailed stories about bad things happening to celebrities.

Which brings me to the second question – who is the audience that network shows aim to attract? A scan of online sources makes it clear: it’s for old people. You get a hint of this with the ads – they’re all for drug companies, and are marketing drugs that old people are likely to use. So if the audience is old people, it would seem to me that networks would put real news into their half hour broadcasts – right? At least in theory, old people would have a longer attention span than the young folk, right? Apparently not. According to the State of the Media website, as of 2012, there was only 19 minutes of content on the half hour news program. That means there’s 11 minutes of commercials. And of the 19 minutes of information-sharing, I’d estimate only about 40% of that could be considered anything close to news, versus fluff and petty gossip. So for an investment of 30 minutes of your time, you get about 10 minutes of substance. That’s really pathetic.

I force Erik to watch the first half of the PBS Newshour, which provides 25 minutes of real information and commentary on things that I believe are important to the country. Why only 25 minutes? Because he insists on switching over to ABC, for ‘news-lite’. I find the PBS information often leads to meaningful conversation between us, as opposed to the consistent-format fluff from ABC. So for the benefit of us older folks, why can’t the networks provide content more like public television news? One network is trying.

CBS made a change in 2013, both with its morning shows and evening news. They added Charlie Rose to the morning lineup, and Scott Pelley took over the nightly news.

The to pics are weightier on both programs, compared to the other two network offerings. And the result? CBS is in third place in both morning and evening broadcasts. What does that tell me? Old folks like the garbage they’re being fed. Sigh.

How do we drag the line back to more brain food and less fodder? There’s always on-line news from on-line print media like The New York Times, Politico, The Atlantic and The New Republic. And I’ll try to persuade Erik to at least switch to CBS for his morning and evening entertainment. It’s a step in the right direction…maybe. Or maybe CBS will realize they’re fighting a losing battle, and go the way of the others with fluff and nonsense. If so, can I cancel my cable subscription and be done with it? We’ll see.

Well, the Republicans have done it again, by golly. In today’s oral arguments before the Supreme Court, four plaintiffs sued the government. What do they want? For the court to say the subsidies to low-income insured in the 34 states controlled by Republicans are illegal. That will essentially deny insurance coverage to nearly 8 million people. Good work, right? Eight million very angry voters in red states? Hmm…maybe not.

The enthusiasm to kill Obamacare was hot and heavy in 2012, because it was an election year and because it was something Obama did. But now it’s 2015, and the healthcare program has been in place for over a year. A whole lot of people all of a sudden have insurance that didn’t have it before. Insurance they can afford. And that doesn’t have huge deductibles or copays. That’s a good thing, right? No, it’s a bad thing. Why is it bad? Because the Democrats put it in place.

Denying insurance coverage to needy people because of politics is a sin. But this time around, I think the Republicans are going to be hoisted on Fendall Hawkins petard. Who? What? Let me ‘splain.

In 1966, a great comedy hit the screen called The Russians Are Coming…The Russians are Coming. The character actor Paul Ford played a buffoon named Fendall Hawkins, who was determined to create a national incident out of a Russian submarine mistakenly getting stuck on a sand bar. Here’s Paul’s picture as Fendall. Needless to say, ole’ Fendall became a headache for everybody, including the town sheriff and – in the end – the townspeople. So what’s that got to do with today’s case?

Those four folks that sued from Virginia are right-wingers, whose legal fees were paid for by a conservative think tank, the Competitive Enterprise Institute. CEI bills itself as a ‘libertarian’ think tank, but its funders come from mainstream corporate America. The lawyers for CEI pored over all 900 pages of the legislation to find one word that they say will kill the whole statute. The word is by. Yes by. The language in the statute provides subsidies for folks in health care exchanges set up by the states. But in 2012, John Roberts, the Chief Justice of the Supremes, let the states off the hook to set up their exchanges. So instead, the feds set up the exchanges. Since the legislators that created the program could never have envisioned the outcome of the 2012 case, it’s logical to say that the language was to address the original game plan – subsequently declared unconstitutional. So now, will the Supremes find for the plaintiffs and gut the program? We’ll find out in June.

But here’s the interesting part. Let’s say they find for the plaintiffs. Almost eight million pissed off voters can’t be good for Republicans in those 34 red states. What can they do? Why, they can set up health care exchanges, and let those subsidies continue. That’s really sticking it to Obama, right? Sure. OK, let’s say the Supremes understand the impact on working class Americans, and find a way to uphold the statute. The Republicans look like the bullies that just got punched by the wimp’s older sister. Bad news for having started this whole mess, right? So as I said in the title: if they win, they lose; if they lose, they lose.

Going back to the film, Fendall called in the Air Force to attack the Russian sub after the Russian sailors – along with the men of the town – saved the deputy sheriff’s son from falling off the church steeple. The whole town was mad at Fendall, and helped the Russians escape by mobilizing all the boats in the harbor, and escorting the sub back out to sea. In this case, the four plaintiffs have called in the Air Force to sink the submarine called affordable health care for 8 million residents of red state America. Jeb Bush is probably praying every night the Supremes decide the plaintiffs didn’t have standing, and just dismiss the case on those grounds. That would be a blessing for everyone. Care to lay odds on this one, gentle readers?

Postscript: I just read a piece by Linda Greenhouse in the New York Times, written about a month ago about the case. Her writing led me to the list of briefs written for King v Burwell on the American Bar Association website. All the briefs for both sides are available from the site, including the Amicus briefs, i.e. written statements that support each side from other sources. Here’s the interesting point, one that surely comports with my comments above. Just about all the Amicus briefs for the plaintiffs are from conservative think tanks and other, right-leaning entities that live in the abstract, partisan world. The Amicus briefs for the government include a whole slew of health care providers, and even the attorneys-general of a coalition of states, including red states. Even the attorney general of Virginia filed on behalf of the government. So as I said above, nobody with any sense at all wants this case decided for the plaintiffs. The cost at this point is just too great – for everybody, including the health care providers to low-income families that will be hurt by it. But as I detailed above, the folks with the most to lose are Republicans. As such, I’ll lay odds the Supremes will find for the government. It’ll just be interesting to see how they do it. Any thoughts, y’all?